Hi--I need to vent--and I am SO not linking this to Facebook or all those FB "friends" will post comments I don't really want. Aren't I starting out cheery?? Let me start over-
Life is good- my sweet girl is precious and perfect and turning into a little chunk- I love it! The Mover is coping pretty well-- it was a rough first month but now we are settled in and back to a routine and he LOVES his sister! Maybe to a smothering point at times but yes he LOVES her! Ok back to my processing point.....
Being a stay at home mom has so many bonuses that I could write about but I am thinking about a negative at the moment. I am an extravert with a capital E! I am a talker- I love conversing and relating and being with people. I call my friends way more than they call me. It isn't because I am bored or have no life, I just make a point to call people when I have a few free moments driving or nursing. This is because I am a people person. This leads to a problem sometimes because I worry I am annoying people or talking their ear off. I don't want to be THAT person that loses friends because I am annoying. SO what is the line? How do you know you are annoying? Do you just stop calling people? Then I get into the insecure high school thoughts..."are we really even friends?" "Are they talking about me to other people?" "Are they acting weird or is it in my head?" These thoughts seriously make me want to throw up...they make me wish I was content to not talk to anyone but my Hubby and my 2 year old.
And making friends as a stay at home mom is so dang hard I think! It is hard to find people- ok moms, who aren't always trying to prove themselves as better wives, moms, cooks, health nuts, etc. I hate it. I hate pretense. I hate not knowing where I stand with people. I am done worrying and I am done confronting. I am taking the advice of my extrovert sis and Hubby who tell me just walk away--not mad--just don't pursue them--let people call you. Ok I can do that because returning to annoying high school insecurities is not an option- bleh! Why are people so weird-- just say what you think and get it over with.
Wow--thanks I need to get that off my chest and my Hubby is gone for 4 days for a school field trip so I am venting to you, dear cyberspace=) I need to take my own advice that I give the Mover a million times a day, "Be thankful for what you have". I have a great family- immediate and extended. I am so thankful for them loving me as I am. In the end, all is well, I just need to remember that if it is not a matter of conviction then maybe I just can't worry about how people perceive me, and just be me=).
