Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I love Amazon

So my love affair with Amazon really started at Christmas time when I decided to by all of my gifts online.  I did this more because the Mover was just at an age where it was tough to go out shopping for hours and I always felt like I wasted so much time.  I did end up buying a few things on Black Friday but that was it.  Everything I bought was free shipping and I think I spent quite a bit less.

I have been wanting to buy some Christian Parenting type books as you may recall.  Well I am finally doing it=).  I was a little annoyed that most parenting books are written by men.  I mean God bless our men truly but  really are they the authority?  We are dealing with crazy babies most of the time and they are off... what..getting a degree in Child Psychology?  So I pretty much feel like I would relate better to a female perspective.  I ordered two though.
First the female perspective that was recommended by my sis.
And the second- the male perspective:
I have heard good things about both.  I hear the first is an easier read.  I like the idea of finding a philosophy to use- maybe not a 100% by a book but something consistnet.  I think it is the teacher in HUbby and I that find ourselves wanting to teach and instruct our children and use consistent language.  We have both learned from the classroom that be stay calm better when we set expectations and they are known- as with consequences.  I makes it easier to discipline a child without  making it a "me vs you" business.  For me it makes it less emotional.  Like I am not giving you this consequences you are essentially giving it to your self for the choice you made.  I remember my students hating when I would say that but they couldn't argue.  It allows you to keep treating them with love and separate it from the consequence.  Now I have not idea if that works in parenting like in teaching but we will see what I think once I read these books.

Also I ordered some bath toys for the Mover who LOVES the water and splashing like a mad man.  And a book on Motherhood (can't remember what it was called) and a yoga and pilates video (I have had a lot of hip pain since my boy was born- hoping to strengthen my core a bit..if I actually do it but that is another story)
Oh and a sleeper for my boy.  Grand total?? $35.00!  That was less that I just spent at Kmart on easter basket goodies for the Mover!  One of the books was $1!  How cool is that?!  I love Amazon.  I just entered to win a Kindle on thepioneerwoman.com.  I could handle that.

On a different note I would pay a lot for someone to decifer my son's bad sleeping habits that have no pattern at all.  He is happier and less whinny when he gets enough sleep but then right now when he wakes up after a 20 min. nap- angry and screaming..what the heck?? The house is quiet and I know he needs sleep.  I don't get it buddy.

Monday, March 29, 2010

did I scare you?

I hope not...looking back at that last post it was really all over and maybe sad.  I didn't mean it to be sad.  I actually feel a ton better just putting it out there.  I really am pretty good.  I think I just struggle with things and don't admit them at times until I have bad day and can't hold it in.  I just want to thank you- out there in cyberspace for listening.  It is interesting to me the levels that we live.  Like today my level is much more...well...not so complex.  I am thinking about summer and the Mover's birthday in a few months and how I want to do something fun, and what I want for dinner, and "Wow is he still sleeping?"....That is all.  But all that yesterday stuff is still there.  It just isn't bringing me down.  And really in the end it is all good.  I have a loving Father in heaven who is here- everyday. Sometimes shaking his head at my antics and sometimes smiling in love.  He is in charge and I am so thankful for that.

I believe my son is waking up- from a 2 hour nap- longest in as long as I can remember.  Thank you Lord for the little gifts.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs and My Life

In education we talk about this theory of motivation a lot.  The theory is that one cannot move up a "rung" on the pyramid unless they have felt the below "rungs" are well satisfied.  If you look up a more detailed explaination you would see that survival is food, clothing, sleep.  And safety is shelter, cleanliness, etc. 

I first was introduced to this is 8th grade from Mrs. McKay.  I remember her saying that most people never reach self actualization.  I looked at it and thought, "That is it!"  "That is what I want!  I want to truly understand myself- be confident in who I am and where I belong." 

I still kind of think that.  I realize now that God is a bigger part of that whole "self actualizing" business.  But today I am explaining this to you in order to explain why I am a crappy blogger lately.  I am and have been for a few weeks hovering between the 2 bottom rungs of this pyramid.  The main reasons have been that I spoke too soon- the little Mover has not been sleeping well still and is cranky continually and we all went through this nasty cold.  Those aren't all but they are the biggies.  So when all you are thinking about is feeding your family, getting through the day with a shred of patience, and sleeping- blogging becomes pretty low on the list.  The only reason I am doing it now is because my Hubby took the Mover out for a few hours- pretty much because I need to regroup...I didn't recognize this so much but my loving hubby did.  Honestly I am having a hard time regrouping- taking a deep breath.  Trusting God and remembering that he is there.  So I am going to use this as a way to talk through life.
Today my Hubby and I listened to a sermon by Dan Jarrell, our old pastor at Changepoint in AK.  It was on the Weight of Glory- by CS Lewis.  I have read that but I was overwhelmed by the truth of his words.  Have you ever just felt truth cut into your life with clarity?   It reminded me that this is not my home- this is just the beginning and that as the first chapter of 2 Corinthians talks about- God knows we will have pain and struggle and loneliness but he also comforts us and USES that comfort to pour out to others.  I have to admit thinking...really?? Are you sure this isn't all about me God??  Cause I sure feel sometimes like it is! 
Though I have Christ in my life sometime I feel this need for something I can't really fathom- something greater- something I can't define because I do not have it in myself.  Maybe that is the weight of glory, maybe it is just being homesick for a place you have yet to visit.  I desire to live in the joy of Christ- especially in the low times- like now.  When you realize what you knew in your head was true.  That you truly do not have control.  Like it says in Proverbs "A man's steps are directed by the Lord, How then can anyone understand his own way?"

A little part of this easy going girl (or at least I think I am) has always deep down thought I was in control.  Yeah life didn't always go as planned but I always believed subconsciencely that is would end up how I want it to- where I want it to- and even when.  A few months ago I lost someone dear to me.  I had no control- but it changed everything.  My life seemed so out of my control.  I have said a million times that I know God is in control but to realize sharply and painfully that you have been lying to yourself for a very long time.  Selfishly I was heart broken by my own realization.  I still am a little heart broken and struggling to reshape who I am in Christ based on my heart and not my head...bit of a set back- but I know it was God's plan.  He want me to pursue him genuinely...how can I do that when I don't truly believe that he is in charge?  I can't.

Also I was proud enough to think I would just have this "mom" thing in the bag.  Obviously I was scared and had my doubts but again I think deep down I said those things like, "my kid won't do THAT" or  "I will have that taken care of by that age" .  I didn't say those things out loud mind you- because I am pretty nice=) but I thought them.  God knows my thoughts and they stunk.  Now I am having to face the fact that I don't have a freaking clue some days and that my worth is not in being a perfect parent.  I struggle with that though-  I am overly sensitive because I am insecure at times.  I pray God will help me through this too.

My life is so good- so many other people have bigger troubles- but I am realizing it doesn't work to ignore my own struggles.  I need to give them to my Father in heaven- maker and creator- the One who guides my every way.  He will comfort and teach.  He will love and heal.  I will emerge from the trials a little closer to "self actualized" because my worth and confidence is in Him- my sense of belonging is in Him- and he is the ROCK.  And I am just a stranger that needs to focus on her homeland- and live like this is not the end-all. He is the end all.

I am sorry that this is so all over the place and maybe not as fun as it could be but I guess life isn't always fun.  Through all of this though I praise God- for giving me a loving man of God, and beautiful son, and a wonderful extended family that loves and supports us.  I am blessed.  I pray that maybe now or in the future God will use my struggles and the comfort he has and will continue to give- to bless and comfort others.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of comfort, who comforts us in all troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have recieved from God."  2 Cor. 1:3

Thank you Father for never giving up on me- even when I am slow to learn.

Peace and Joy in Christ.

Monday, March 22, 2010

This One is for You!!

It has been pretty nice out on and off here.  True when it isn't nice we get snow and frigid wind but.. hey that is Wyoming for you.  Anyways the Mover has found a new passion in life.  BEING OUTSIDE!!  It is like a drug to this young soul!  I love it.  With this passion comes picking up dead leaves, trying to eat rocks, crawling up this stairs.
 Doesn't he look so dillegent?  Yeah that is how he rolls:)!  Hard work crawling around!  Oh and up-- we like to crawl up- aka climb.

I am the object which to climb...often.

And eating my face or the camera is the reward after the long climb!!  WHooo hoo!  Go son!

This post is in honor of my lovely son who has slept through the night the last two nights.  God bless you my dear sweet boy. You might be a little more high maintenance than some but I love you always no matter what!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Un Athletic

Tonight my husband made up a random game of throwing a little plastic ball at the ceiling fan.  If you hit the middle- 3 points, the metal part- 2 points, the fan blades- 1 point.  He was pretty good.  I was pretty content to nod and smile and keep looking at recipes online.  But noooo a game isn't fun by yourself right??  Yeah.  It was a painful reminder of why I love NOT going to gym anymore because I am an adult.  I seriously lack eye-hand coordination.  Probably doesn't help that my Hubby was burying his head in his hands, laughing in disbelief, and I was cracking up at just how truly unathletic I am! I do like tennis.  I think I am a little successful because of the larger surface area..baseball on the other hand- whew- not pretty, people.
Why I am telling this?  No idea just popped into my head.
I realize though in part- if I was bothered enough by this I would stay up late throwing the dumb ball at the fan or go to the batting cages but truly I realize in most sports I just don't care enough.  I care about health and fitness but I just lack athletic competitiveness (is that a word??).  I really would just rather read a book or take a walk then get all crazy competitive.  Just who I am a I guess.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Let's try this for real

Son- asleep CHECK
house clean CHECK
laundry done ______ oh well do it later.
glass of red wine in me CHECK

WEEKEND! and QUIET!  Good combo to post some pics.  Welcome then to our semi cold (Californians called it freezing)

So we went to San Diego and LA.  Most of our time was in SD though.

This was the view from our balcony.  It was a row back but man that ocean was loud!  I liked it.  Slept like a baby!

This was the same day as the "baby's first ocean day" picture in the last post.  I really just love this picture.  Daddy time- LOVE IT.  Kind of makes me want to cry- in a good way of course!

I think this is one of the few pictures of me from the week and of course my boy looks all goofy.  Silly guy!

The petting Zoo in the San Diego Zoo.  Little Mover had a blast and was fearless!  The whole Zoo was pretty cool.  They don't have cool bird house that it rains in though like the Brookfield used to have.  That was my favorite thing as a kid.  My hubby wasn't really crazy about going to the zoo but knew I was a fan.  Thanks hubby!

This was a little park off the harbor in downtown SD.  I am sure it has a name but I don't know what it is.  I just loved the cool trees with red blossoms.  We walked probably a half mile down through these little shops and stuff.  It was windy and a little chilly but nice.

Half way down our little walk we realized we needed to pay the meter and I needed a coat so my hubby ran back (God bless him) and I let the Mover out to play in the grass.  Can you tell he was happy to be out of the stroller??=)

Our walk down the pier took us to the USS umm...what state was it...?? Missouri?  Maybe? Ack I don't know and my hubby is rocking my little boy who just woke up.  Anyways-  It was a husband choice but I really like it.  It made me think of my wonderful grandpa that I miss dearly and it just amazed me the detail of this ship.  Very cool.  This picture is on the landing strip on top- oh yeah because it was an aircraft carrier.  Wow did I learn anything from the audio tour?  Oh yeah I had a baby with me I only listen to about 3 stations but hey it was free=).  The audio tour- not the entrance to the ship.

This was on our LA day trip.  It was spontaneous and I was snotting and hacking up a storm with the cold I then passed to my family.  I was a bit unimpressed.  We went to Hollywood and Venice Beach and had a really long drive back to Oceanside (where the condo was).  The Mover was soo tired of the car and I was sick and living on Sudafed and the hubby was... well.. regretting his idea.  We are always reforming our mindset to living with kids.  It is good and we wouldn't change it, but sometimes you just forget all the factors involved.

This was our warmest day.  We went to LaJolla.  I could so live in LaJolla!  Beautiful.  The mover was CRAZY!  My hubby surfed and I watched this little guy.  He put rocks in his mouth, ate sand, crawled all over.  I used to worry that I would get tired of babysitting when I was a mom.  It doesn't happen often but this was one of them!!  This paragraph could be a lot longer but I will refrain.  Crazy beach day!

I went for a walk by myself just north of La Jolla beach.  The boys stayed in the car while the Mover slept.  They have tidepools out here.  They were kind of cool but not as cool as I have seen in Oregon but the view was nice, as was the quiet relaxing walk.

Well that is the highlights- minus dinner with dear old friends Ben and Larissa and brunches and breakfasts with some of the hubby's fam that was in town and some that live in LA.  It was fun and nice.  I was ready to come home.  Not so ready for the 6 inches of snow today though!

Just so you know since I started typing this the Mover has been up twice- poor kiddo can't breathe from all the snot, and my hubby has gone to bed.  I have a feeling it will be another night with the little man in bed with us.  How does it work that the littlest takes up the most space?


Little pieces of our trip

Since the Mover is just in the other room distracted and not sleeping, this will be just a piece of our San Diego trip.
The little mover's first touch in the ocean.  It was cold and cloudy but we walked the beach a little bit still.
This picture is vital in explaining our trip.  If you notice in the for front- yeah those little Gerber puff things.  We learned that they are wonderful.  Don't leave home without 'em!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Carrying the World on my Shoulders...

I know- I know I promised pictures and some info about San Diego.  I know but it has been crazy.  I got sick on our trip and lived on Sudafed for a few days.  I pretty much felt like death- but I am a bit of a hypochondriac.  Then the day we were coming home and flying out and the crack of dawn- Hubby got sick.  Then yesterday the Mover got sick.  I am starting to feel better but sometimes I think I am getting pneumonia...I think I should WebMd myself.  Probably just hypochondria again.  So basically I haven't had a full REM cycle in 3 or 4 days and this is literally the first chance I have gotten alone.  I will update when I don;t feel so much like I am carrying the world on my shoulders...or at least my family on my shoulders :).

 Yesterday he was cracking and just starting to get sick...He wouldn't go in his crib, but he would stick his face in the corner of the couch and sleep.  Cute huh?  Doesn't he look huge??

Monday, March 8, 2010

I know God doesn't make mistakes but....

To make a long story short for the first time ever some would say, we are in San Diego CA.  We decided last week to go somewhere for Spring Break.  Friday I booked a condo- Saturday we left for Denver and flew out.  We were able to fly because of a whole other story that wouldn't make this short.
Anyways.  It is cold and cloudy, but I LOVE it!  I have never been to California.  Funny huh?  I have been all over Europe and lived in Alaska, but never been to California.  I love the ocean.  I have always loved the Ocean.  I feel like I can breathe deeper standing next to this amazing thing God created- this beautiful force of nature.  It is crazy.  I am listening to the pounding waves from the bedroom of our condo we rented.  I love it.  Sometimes I don't want to travel.  I don't know why- it is just a lot of work and planning and my hubby and I tend to do this kind of stuff fairly differently so it can be interesting at times to say the least.  But I am glad he gets me moving because I am usually glad once we get to where we are going.
We went to the Zoo today.  I like zoos. I like the wandery paths, I like not ready the signs- just seeing what I find.  My hubby- not so much but he went because he knew I wanted to.  I think he liked it too.  I brought by card reader so I will put some pics up tomorrow of Little Mover touching the ocean for the first time!  He will not remember it but we got a picture for proof:).
To if you are wondering about my title..
I know God doesn't make mistakes but I think I should have been born here:)  Ok time to get my boy to sleep.  Happy Monday folks!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


It is as if my son knows when I lay down to take a nap he wakes up.  He is so tired.  Why does he fight so hard?  I am so tired too. My hubby wants to go somewhere for Spring Break which is ohh next week.  I hate that I didn't realize that until after I went grocery shopping for the month and got a bunch of produce.  I am just whining I know.  I desire contentment in life.  I just wish today that teachers got paid what they are worth so I wouldn't dread going to the store.  I wish I had endless patience and a few good night sleeps.  And Spring I wish it was Spring.  Oh and I wish we had a church I really felt part of. And a garden....yeah I think that is it.  Maybe a dryer that doesn't keep go ing and going until you go turn it off:).  Ok I am done. Contentment Grace Contentment- Rest in what God has given you. 

My sister and her 4 kiddos are here staying at our house for a few days.  I will post cute pics soon...too tired right now.  But they do family time at night and everyone answers a question.  The question was "What do you want to buy?".  I had a hard time answering at the time.  I felt bad though because I want to buy diapers, and a glider chair, and paint for my guest room, and sleep and patience (if you know where I could buy some of that let me know). 

I think he went back to sleep...I am going to attempt to lay down for a few minutes.  Wish me luck!