Saturday, May 12, 2012

Friend issues

Hi--I need to vent--and I am SO not linking this to Facebook or all those FB "friends" will post comments I don't really want.  Aren't I starting out cheery??  Let me start over-

Life is good-  my sweet girl is precious and perfect and turning into a little chunk- I love it!  The Mover is coping pretty well-- it was a rough first month but now we are settled in and back to a routine and he LOVES his sister!  Maybe to a smothering point at times but yes he LOVES her!  Ok back to my processing point.....

Being a stay at home mom has so many bonuses that I could write about but I am thinking about a negative at the moment.  I am an extravert with a capital E!  I am a talker- I love conversing and relating and being with people.  I call my friends way more than they call me.  It isn't because I am bored or have no life,  I just make a point to call people when I have a few free moments driving or nursing.  This is because I am a people person.  This leads to a problem sometimes because I worry I am annoying people or talking their ear off.  I don't want to be THAT person that loses friends because I am annoying.  SO what is the line?  How do you know you are annoying?  Do you just stop calling people?  Then I get into the insecure high school thoughts..."are we really even friends?"  "Are they talking about me to other people?"  "Are they acting weird or is it in my head?"  These thoughts seriously make me want to throw up...they make me wish I was content to not talk to anyone but my Hubby and my 2 year old.
  And making friends as a stay at home mom is so dang hard I think!  It is hard to find people- ok moms, who aren't always trying to prove themselves as better wives, moms, cooks, health nuts, etc.  I hate it.  I hate pretense.  I hate not knowing where I stand with people.  I am done worrying and I am done confronting.  I am taking the advice of my extrovert sis and Hubby who tell me just walk away--not mad--just don't pursue them--let people call you.  Ok I can do that because returning to annoying high school insecurities is not an option- bleh!  Why are people so weird-- just say what you think and get it over with.  

Wow--thanks I need to get that off my chest and my Hubby is gone for 4 days for a school field trip so I am venting to you, dear cyberspace=)  I need to take my own advice that I give the Mover a million times a day, "Be thankful for what you have".  I have a great family- immediate and extended.  I am so thankful for them loving me as I am.  In the end, all is well,  I just need to remember that if it is not a matter of conviction then maybe I just can't worry about how people perceive me, and just be me=).

Sorry for all that...any ideas?  Anyone else out there ever deal with such things??

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Birth Story

It has taken me a while but I have been wanting to share little Liberty's birth story.  I would love to give you all lots of pics but...don't have any!  I read on one of my new blog reads-  that sometimes it helps to tell your birth story--and since with a 2 1/2 year old and an infant keeping me busy I haven't really had much time to chat.
--so if you don't want to read a birth story---stop reading now--come back another time=)

On Sunday Feb. 12--about 2 weeks before baby's due date- we went to church that morning and I wanted to just listen from the atrium area..just didn't really feel like sitting thru the service--having some braxtyn hicks (I thought) but not often and just felt blah.  I talked to my sis (the experienced mom of 5) and she told me not to get too excited and that I would make it to my 9am ob appt. the next day just fine and would most likely be disappointed to find myself still at a 3 or maybe 4.  So I decided to take a nap after church and see if these "contractions" went away.  Well they didn't but I was able to sleep and the contractions were still 20 mins to an hour apart so I didn't really think much of it.  I figured "Who knows this is my second?  Maybe I will have contractions for days!"  SO that evening we went to my parents for dinner (yeah no cooking for me!) and we had chili (important because my hubby thinks that was the clincher=).  By then I was starting to admit that these hurt.  I remember having to stop talking multiple times during dinner to breathe thru a few strong ones.

I know this sounds silly but I still wasn't even thinking about going to the hospital--didn't think we were all that close.  SO we went home and I did a Thomas the Train puzzle with the Mover and my Hubby laid him down.  About the time we laid him down (9:00ish)  I decided maybe I should actually keep track of the time on these guys.  Within 10 minutes the contractions went from 15 mins apart to 2-3 minutes.  I found the only position I could handle was on the floor on all fours.  But oddly I still wasn't really stressed-  I think it was God.  Hubby called my parents and my brother and sister said they would come stay with the Mover.  At this point I think Matt was sure they would send me home still.  So they drove over and we grabbed our stuff and took off.  We arrived at the hospital at about 11pm ish.  I remember when they checked me, the nurse asked my pain level and I said- 7.

She asked about pain management..this is where it was a little hairy...see I had determined in myself that I didn't want an epidural...but didn't so much share that with my Hubby ekkk.  I knew it would stress him out so I avoided.  Now here I am in labor trying to decide...I felt bad not going with my Hubby but I felt like I could do this.  So as we were talking about it, the nurse checked me.  I was at a 5 and 99% effaced.  She told me the doctor on call would be their soon- so I decided to wait and decide on the epidural then.  I would get it if I hadn't progressed.  My nurse was super supportive and AMAZING! And my Hubby let me know he would support whatever I decided. So they moved me to a room, got me a birthing ball--which did wonders--, and started trying to put in a IV.  Just as protocol in case I needed fluids.  Well, that was not going well..poking, prodding, digging...took my mind of the contractions at least....well a little=).  so doctor arrives...about 15 mins after we go there and checks me.  I am at a 6.

She breaks my water and HOLY CRAP I had no idea how much that would intensify the contractions!  I remember I was getting off the bed to get back on the birthing ball and had my first "post water break" contraction and I couldn't move-- I was holding on to the nurse for dear life!  But it pasted and I got off the bed and on the ball and nurse #2 started attempting an IV--no #3 nurse from the ER came up to try--nope...I remember them talking about calling in one of the life flight guys.  That's when I told the nurse...or really just said to anyone who was around...that I thought I was gonna poop...about 2 seconds later I pushed...I remember saying that I couldn't stop pushing and apologizing!  I think I was apologizing because I was sure I wasn't at a 10 yet and I was doing something wrong!  But I don't remember anyone answering me- they just herded me onto the bed.  I remember yelling at the point that it hurt so bad and remember the doctor reassuring me and saying, "I know I know"  Then I told Hubby I couldn't do this and he said he could see the head!  I was shocked I had no idea that it could happen so fast!!  People were running around the room grabbing stuff and I was pushing away! Probably 2 or 3 contractions later baby was out!  I do remember she had to cut me a little because her shoulders were stuck and I remember that hurting...I thought even then, "How can that little cut hurt when I am popping out a 6 lb baby!?  But it did!

So baby is out and I hear the nurse (the wonderful one who I feel deserves payment as a doula as well) "she, she, she" conversing with the doctor and then my hubby asked ," so what is it!!??"  I guess they kind of forgot to tell us!  IT'S A GIRL!!  SO exciting!

 Then I learned that pushing out that placenta hurts like having a twin that is just a little smaller=) whew!

It was 11:15pm when we arrived and by 12:15am Liberty was out in the world!  It was crazy fast and amazing.  My hubby did great and I think he was pretty proud of my mad skills too=).

Well the story extends for the next few days of "stuff" but that is the actual birth story..and surprisingly I could have made it longer=)!  Thanks for listening.  We are so blessed by God's gift to our family and I am so excited to get to know this sweet little girl!

Love you Libby Girl!

Friday, February 10, 2012


Hi friends-- well I am down to mire weeks--2 to be exact until my due date- welcome to the world little one.  We decided to be surprised again and I seriously don't have an inkling if it is a boy or girl!  My pregnancy in all has be great really.  A little emotional (dang hormones) and a little tiring (maybe the extra 25 lbs I packed on) but other than that my stomach has been happy and life it good. 

Now I am in that darn 9th month....literally having a Braxtyn Hicks contractions as I type..whoever said those suckers don't hurt are weirdos.  Anyways I am starting to feel a little down...I think just because the normal tasks of life are getting so hard and my Little Mover is taking advantage of his Momma's slow moving self.  I was putting up with his naughtiness, but now I am just patientless and ticked off.  The wrath of a huge pregnant woman is not pretty.  I scare myself a little.  SO yes in other words I am ready to be able to bend over again, and ready to have the energy to be patiently consistent with my Little Mover.  Wow it is amazing how clear sin nature is revealed through a precious, sweet little boy.  Glad God loves me in all my selfishness...and I don't even have the cute smile to melt His heart!

In other news I have been doing a Bible Study- women's deal at our local E-Free church in town.  They do a Puggles (Awana) class for the little ones and I really felt God putting it on my heart to get involved in something that would give me some consistency and discipline in the Word.  Last semester we did a Women of Genesis study which was interesting and really great in part just to have Godly women to pray with and fellowship with.  Now we are starting a study of the life of David- it is a Beth Moore and 2 other ladies...I can't remember their names...but so far so good.  CHallenging and thought provoking.  It has been good to just get me back in a habit of aily devotions which I have really slacked at the last year or so.  I also read this ebook that I think I mentioned before that has inspired me to morning devos again as well. it has been good.  Challenging and encouraging.

What else?  Elias is learning his ABCs and sounds-- he knows over half of his sounds, which is crazy because we haven't really been super intentional about teaching them, he is just interested.  We are still halfway potty training--he is just not really into it and I have let go of needing to have it done before the little one comes so that takes the pressure off.  He will get there I guess!

Well till next time!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Hi fall! Where did summer go?

Well Summer is winding down and I remember " I have a blog!".  My sis blames my absence in the blog world and pretty much all social interaction on my Hubby.  It is probably kind of true.  He is off in the summer and we pack it in!

- June we drove to Chicago ( I LOVE the portable dvd player) and spent about a week with my extended family- it was wonderful and really made us feel like we got a head start on summer.  Then Hubby had a few weeks of paid training so Mover and I just hung out...don't really remember what all we did..

- July we stayed home for the Fourth and watched them from the roof.  I Turned 30 (wow seemed big then but now it feels pretty normal).  Mover turned 2!  We made little dirt pudding cups- super cute.  Oh and ended with a weekend just me and Hubby in Denver- honestly it was so needed- we went to Waterworld and went down all the slides together and sat in the sun and read for hours.  Honestly I don't know about the Hubby, but I needed that day-- I missed my baby (he was with Grandma) but it just felt good to reconnect without distraction.

- August we  drove to Spokane to see the Hubby's fam and then we all went over to Seattle for a long weekend-  swam in the hotel pool, hung out with family, ate at Red Robin with a million screaming kids=), walked around the Pier and Pikes Market.  I love Seattle- to visit at least.  Then back to Spokane for some air conditioning at the Hubby's momma's house and just relaxing.  Came home and Hubby started school.

That takes us to today ohhh



Whooo hoo- We - well I figured it out about the second week of July so now I am about 16 weeks or 4 monthsish.  We waited to tell everyone till after the first trimester because of the miscarriage and really I was struggling with fear and trusting that God's plan is the best plan--not that God will make my plan "The Plan".  Basically trusting even when things have gone badly before is hard.  But it is better-- we had an ultrasound at 10 weeks with was AMAZING pretty sure it lifted 100lbs from my chest!  And since that I have heard the baby's heartbeat and felt a few kicks now and then.  And ya know don't fit in any of my pants=).

Well I don't want to overwhelm you with too much information at once so I will sign off...if anyone would like to donate a computer that doesn't break on a regular basis you may hear from me more=)- for now I am just using Hubby's from school and I need to upload summer pics.  Oh and I have to update you on my gardening adventures!  Next time then..

Sooner than later....

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mom Day

The best part of my Mom's Day was laying in bed between my boys- hubby- sleeping, baby- trying to..had a little tummy ache just rubbing my baby's back.  I love being a mom! 

Other highlights...

Hubby built me a big raised bed garden...I photo documented but I am waiting till there is a least some dirt in it to show it off=)- I am pretty impressed with our mad skills!

Went flower shopping with mom and sis- not kids--kind of nice.

Laid on a blanket in the sunny 75 degree weather and read- ahhh..

Hubby and Mover made me a card---ok Hubby made it and Mover scribbled on it--it made me cry.

Being a mom is a hard job--and even on Mother's Day we still are thinking about diapers, and naptimes, and food--etc-- so it really never ends, but it is nice to feel appreciated.  I am a big fan.

Happy Late Mother's Day- mom followers-- you all rock!

Thanks little Mover for adding Mom to my list of hats!!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

My hubby has been gone a lot this quarter of school.  Nothing compared to many husbands out there.  Just more than I am used to.  He is in Yellowstone with his class Friday-Monday night.  So the Mover and I cleaned up the house, played in the tent, are washing diapers, and I have no idea what we will do next.  It is dang cold out and snow and windy so outside is a bit limited.
So I just finished reading a book about IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and I have decided to start an elimination diet that makes sense to me.  Just trying to get a better grip of what my triggers are so I can feel good continually.  So basically I do 2 week stints of eliminating food groups: diary, gluten, sugar, fructose, and last insoluble fibers.  These are the big ones that usually affect IBS people.  I am pretty sure some of these are not triggers, but I am going to try it and make sure.  The gluten one is gonna hurt BAD!  I love me some bagels and waffles and bread!  So today I am starting the no diary 2 weeks.  Then at the end you go crazy eating dairy and see how you feel.  This will be the easiest for me because I really only eat cheese and butter in the diary group.

I cut the end off the Mover's binkie today..I was nervous!  He was really funny with it..kept taking it out and slobbering all over.  Finally I asked him if it was broken.  He said yeah and through it away.  I think he has no idea it is gone...well nap time is soon.  It will be his first binkieless nap (crossing my fingers).

The Mover wants to be held like a baby all of the time lately.  It is funny--he just backs up to me saying, "baby, baby".  He does get a little heavy though=).  Ironic since he hated being cradle held as a baby!

It rained the other day and we went out in doesn't rain too often in Wyoming--the Mover was confused but soaked, happy, and refused to come inside.

So yeah I kind of miss my hubby =( but it is ok.  He called and all is going well so that is good.

Oh I am also reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.  It is really good--very good=)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

So I am on a little mission to get votes for a contest/job I would love to have.  The company is Hopscout and they sell one "classic" toys one a day, that are reviewed and approved and sold at a discount.  They are looking for 5 moms or dads to review products and write blog posts and such--$40 and hour plus  $200 a month toward your child's college fund and $200 stipend for groceries.  Sweet deal right??  Well I am sure it is a free advertising tool for them, it is still a sweet gig.  I am not feeling SUPER positive at this point, but if you have a chance before Friday at Midnight please vote for me on the Hopscout facebook page...and tell all you brothers,sister, moms, etc to vote too! =) thanks
 This is the link to my video I did to enter- top 20 people with the most votes at in the running for the 5 positions.

other than that-  I am just super ready for warm weather....I bought everything to try to fix the screen on my storm door (after watching a "How to" video on I can't get the screen out of the door...I don't know- the video just said take the screen out and they popped it out....mine is not working like that...hmmm..still problem solving that one.

So it is Holy Week.  I have been ready the Easter story to the Mover every morning we read a few pages in his kiddie bible (  I am not capitalizing because it isn't really The Bible it is a story booky version but I love it).  He doesn't really get it or care he just points to animals and such- but it has been good for me to really remember the sacrifices my Savior made for me. 

We are hosting Easter dinner this year.  I am excited- Hubby is making Ham and potatoes, I am making chocolate raspberry truffle, carrots, and punch.  My dad- salad and pineapple bake, and my homegirl Lynn is bringing dessert.  My mom is working at the hospital and my sis and her fam or headed to Nebraska to see my bro-in-law's family. 

That's all she wrote..I need to get some stuff done for my Hubby.

God Bless and happy Passover, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter-- aka- Holy Week.  So thankful that my God is so big he conquered death and made me clean.