Thursday, April 29, 2010

Getting back in the habit

I am posting again- crazy I know-  But it is finally quiet for a few minutes.  I am watching my friend's little girl who is 6 months.  Just for the week-  It has been good but interesting- my little Mover is NOT used to sharing his momma or yeah know not poking little girls in the eye or using them as a step stool!  Oh well it is good for him!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 thoughts on motherhood

Ok some peace in the middle of the day has come-  I think I will attempt to write my thoughts down.  So as my friend Heidi, who just had a little one, said "It is absolutely nothing I expected".  I feel a renewed level of that every day. 
I have a few confessions-  I never really glorified motherhood-  I had little siblings that I loved dearly and watched often.  I was pretty sure motherhood would feel a lot like that.  I also worried I would become a "stepford wife" as we used to call them who always appeared perfect (blah!).

Then I had my boy.  It wasn't instant but over the next few months I could feel my stress level increase.  I felt this burden of motherhood that I had no idea would be there- or how to cope with it.  It entailed a lot of:
"Is he eating enough?"
"Is he sleeping enough?"
"Do I cuddle enough"
But also a lot of  overwhelming feelings of failing.  Everyday I felt like a failure for one minute reason or another.  He didn't sleep through the night, my house wasn't clean, I hadn't found a way to make some money, I was annoyed with my husband, I wasn't reading my Bible.  Everything and anything.  It was depressing and overwhelming.  Now don't get me wrong I also have had wonderful motherhood times- like when my baby falls asleep in my arms or when I was consistent with something and it worked or made a rockin' dinner and my Hubby was impressed.  Ok so I am kind of lumping wifey things in this too I guess!

Anyways  I saw this in myself- my fears and insecurities but was having a had time overcoming.  Then I read this book called , "Supermom has left the building"
Just a short easy read about the Proverbs 31 woman.  I never liked her-  I think I already mentioned that, but it is true.  She was that ever elusive picture of a perfect mom.  No matter what I did I just wasn't that good!  We all have "Supermoms" in our lives.  This book reminded me that number one- I am not alone.  Many women deal with this.  And number 2-  There is not SuperMom!!  There are just lots of wonderful women trying to raise great children.  And she clarifies a little about at Proverbs 31 woman and how really she was just a godly woman and mom- not perfect.

God used this book to remind me that I am still me and He still desires my heart above all.  That as with everything I have freedom in in His hands. I feel a weigh has lift.  And maybe you are thinking- Duh Grace- you already knew all that stuff.  Yeah I probably did but I needed a revelation of it.

The book also goes through the Proverbs woman and breaks it down in a way that make sense in the 21st century.  Really I have learned a lot and wouldn't know where to start.

I know that motherhood will always have its endless to disciple...when to potty train, when to date, how to teach,.....etc.  But I am so glad my heavenly Father knows these things- He loves my baby more than I do and wants him to grow to be a Godly, humble man.  It is good to know we are on the same page! 

So the last few weeks I have felt like I have been able to thoroughly enjoy my son more than ever.  I feel amazed that I can love someone so much before he is even aware of that love.  "While we were still sinners Christ died for us"  Just another parallel pointing me back to the One who has it all figured out.  I pray that He will continue to teach me to honor Him and raise my children in a manner that glorifies Him.

Isn't in funny though- I was all annoyed by Stepford Wives- and perfect seeming moms when I was single and not a mom- then when I was in the situation I still bought into the lie that I wasn't good enough.  How easily I allow myself to be brought down.
As for motherhood being like the love I have for my little brother and sister- whew- I love them- I do- but it is nothing like my own child.  Maybe you can't really understand some things to you are in them..maybe I should consider that in more aspects of my life. Humility is a key word for me lately.

*Sorry this is a little "all over the place" but I am out of time.

Monday, April 26, 2010


Just a little something we have been up to!

Oh and this...
But not to often....

And this whenever possible...
And hanging out at Grandma's house too!
Just a little of our lives to tie you over till I have more time and energy to write.  My boy is huge though and getting a great sense of humor- cracks me up. 

Friday, April 23, 2010

I didn't forget about you guys....

I have not really good excuses though- just hanging out with my boy- oh and starting a new business, and trying to help my Hubby figure out a plan for next year, and ...ok that is all I can think of.

So I need to tell you my new revelations on motherhood.  The other day my mom asked..."So what have you been learning about motherhood?"  Ha- mom you are gonna have to wait like everyone else- till I get my butt in gear.  And as I am typing this I am thinking it is an hour past my bedtime and I am BEAT!  I know it is 10:55pm....on a Friday, but I am sooo tired.

Tomorrow I will post and put a  video of my son who is just out of control cute lately!
Love you all!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

8 days...what is the world coming to??

I haven't updated in a while- well 8 days to be exact.  Crazy.  I missed you little blog.  I have come to find some relief in "verbalizing" here.  Anyway oddly I feel like a lot has happened this week.  Nothing you want a visual for.  The majority would have been pictures of the Mover projectile vomiting on every piece of furniture, the floor, me, my Hubby, and himself.  Yeah I know it is exactly what you wanted to picture.  Oh and if that isn't enough I was right along with the boy.  My poor husband was a little overwhelmed.  He never got sick though, praise God because I was pretty out of commission for a few days.  The Mover is still not 100% but doing better.  It was kind of funny though to realize how quickly this family needs me...
."How do I get the portacrib to stay up?"
"Where are his onsies?",
"How much tylenol do I give him?"
Honestly in spite of the fact I felt like death, it felt good to know I had the corner on a small bank of knowledge:).  Also my moving son stopped moving.  He never wanted off of my lap for days.  I didn't know he was capable of this level of cuddling.  It was beautiful in a sad way.  It was very hard though to see him so miserable.  I think I cried as much as he did.  It was hard to let my hubby take care of him- though I trust him fully and would normally not think twice..but my baby? sick?  I just wanted to be there..

Also I decided to start a business endeavor.  It is called Stella and Dot and it is a way cute, trendy jewelry line that you sell at parties and such.  I don't want to use my blog as a forum for this or anything I just am updating you all.  Anyways I am really excited.  The business plan is solid and nothing about it gave me that "mmmm...not so sure if this is good" feeling.  So I just ordered my samples today and can't wait to get started.  Little nervous but more excited.

Other than that I had a revelation about motherhood that was freeing and wonderful from a book I kind of mentioned from my Amazon purchases.  I am only on page 37 but it is changing my life- ok maybe not but God is using it to connect some other pieces he has been showing me already. But that is not for tonight.  It deserves it's own post.

Goodnight friends

Friday, April 2, 2010


Well today is Good Friday and it is good in many ways.

1.  I went to breakfast at Eggingtons with dear friends I don't see often.

2.  Hubby is home.

3.  My son was only up a little last night and slept till7:30am!

4.  I am making a Blackberry cobbler I have been thinking about (well for Easter).


I would take a picture for you all to see but that would take a process of prying his mouth open for longer than .5 seconds.  Also- not much to see really but I can feel it- it is a sharp little guy.  I discovered it today after the worst lunch session ever- he was crying and grabbing the spoon and smearing food everywhere- it was madness.  So I gave him a bath and was holding him and he started chewing on my chin..weird I know- he has done this for months- mostly just to me...I must taste good.  But today it hurt like no other!  So I pulled him off and checked- there on the bottom right a little tooth!  I know this sounds weird but I can't picture him with teeth.  I feel a bit emotional.  He is only going to get bigger, stronger, and more independent.  My little boy is growing up.  I know it is a long trip still but it feels like a milestone.  It also explains some of his behavior and makes me feel less bad for Tylenoling my son up sometimes:).

The other day the electricity went out for a few hours.  I just was watching my boy.  Everything else I needed to do required power.  He was hilarious.  I think he forgot I was sitting there and after a little while he looked up at me, got this huge grin, and crawled over to me as fast as he could (which is dang fast) and climbed up on my lap.  It wasn't anything special but it was- it felt important- like I saw a boy in him in that moment- a sense of humor all his own.  I can't really describe it well but I felt like I was getting to know my baby in a new way.

In 3 days he will be 9 months- In 3 days- 9 months ago he was born- helpless.  Now he can hold his bottle, crawl, cruise along the furniture, pick up and eat real food, say momma and dada, smile, laugh, and play games.  It is a miracle to me that God can form his entire boy inside and out in 9 months, then 9 months later his is becoming a boy- independent and strong.  It is truly amazing.
Day 1- My boy=)
About 9 months later.  He is priceless isn't he?  What a little ham he is becoming.