Saturday, May 12, 2012

Friend issues

Hi--I need to vent--and I am SO not linking this to Facebook or all those FB "friends" will post comments I don't really want.  Aren't I starting out cheery??  Let me start over-

Life is good-  my sweet girl is precious and perfect and turning into a little chunk- I love it!  The Mover is coping pretty well-- it was a rough first month but now we are settled in and back to a routine and he LOVES his sister!  Maybe to a smothering point at times but yes he LOVES her!  Ok back to my processing point.....

Being a stay at home mom has so many bonuses that I could write about but I am thinking about a negative at the moment.  I am an extravert with a capital E!  I am a talker- I love conversing and relating and being with people.  I call my friends way more than they call me.  It isn't because I am bored or have no life,  I just make a point to call people when I have a few free moments driving or nursing.  This is because I am a people person.  This leads to a problem sometimes because I worry I am annoying people or talking their ear off.  I don't want to be THAT person that loses friends because I am annoying.  SO what is the line?  How do you know you are annoying?  Do you just stop calling people?  Then I get into the insecure high school thoughts..."are we really even friends?"  "Are they talking about me to other people?"  "Are they acting weird or is it in my head?"  These thoughts seriously make me want to throw up...they make me wish I was content to not talk to anyone but my Hubby and my 2 year old.
  And making friends as a stay at home mom is so dang hard I think!  It is hard to find people- ok moms, who aren't always trying to prove themselves as better wives, moms, cooks, health nuts, etc.  I hate it.  I hate pretense.  I hate not knowing where I stand with people.  I am done worrying and I am done confronting.  I am taking the advice of my extrovert sis and Hubby who tell me just walk away--not mad--just don't pursue them--let people call you.  Ok I can do that because returning to annoying high school insecurities is not an option- bleh!  Why are people so weird-- just say what you think and get it over with.  

Wow--thanks I need to get that off my chest and my Hubby is gone for 4 days for a school field trip so I am venting to you, dear cyberspace=)  I need to take my own advice that I give the Mover a million times a day, "Be thankful for what you have".  I have a great family- immediate and extended.  I am so thankful for them loving me as I am.  In the end, all is well,  I just need to remember that if it is not a matter of conviction then maybe I just can't worry about how people perceive me, and just be me=).

Sorry for all that...any ideas?  Anyone else out there ever deal with such things??


Lacey said...

Oh, dear friend. It stinks that old insecurities can follow us around, doesn't it? I think the best way to combat them is to memorize Scripture about WHO I am (Psalm 139, etc).

I find that most often I'm just imagining people's reactions to me. And I have learned that when I start getting so worried about what people think about me, it's because my eyes are focused on myself instead of Jesus. If I'm worried more about what HE thinks than about what everyone else thinks...well, that lifts a big burden.

Thanks for being transparent! I always appreciate people who are willing to share their real life struggles!

Love you!

P.S. I wish I was closer so I could come sit on your couch and chat with you while you nurse your little sweetpea. :-)

grace said...

Thanks Lacey you are right thank you for the good reminder!

Erika May said...

you're not annoying! and i'm sure no one thinks you are :) they're probably just busy. i know, i'm one of those people who never answers when my friends call and instead responds with a quick text. it doesn't mean i don't love my friends it just means i'd rather communicate quickly or in person. but that's just me. wish we were in the same town so we could hang out and compare how we are SO NOT supermoms :) actually, on that note, i know some moms who i do consider supermoms who really aren't trying to prove anything. they're just trying to do the best they can do for themselves and their family. it took me awhile to realize that but it makes my friendships with them much easier. and i know there are some that have very strong opinions about EVERYthing, but i just remind myself that they are talking about what works for THEM. and i can take it or leave it or just laugh at them...which i do often with surprising results. they usually laugh too. hang in there! we should get together when i visit in June :)

Mark Noce said...

No ideas, but it's good to vent:) Good post, great blog:)

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